Today, I was tempted to say “Ikaw bahala.”
A dear friend was asking my opinion on something, and I gave one, but he dismissed it. And I was tempted to say “Ikaw bahala” just to end the conversation, since he didn’t seem interested in what I had to say anyway.
Instead, I said something else, not “Ikaw bahala” or “Ok :))”, because I hate those two expressions. I hate the insincerity and the nonchalance that come with those replies, especially when sent over text or chat.
Because, really, I care. I cared enough to reply, so it won’t hurt to reply long, and to reply sincerely.
I associate those two expressions to horror stories of my past relationship. When it was going downhill already for us, we found ourselves hurting each other using “Ikaw bahala” or “Ok :))”. You know it’s really bad already when you get a “K”.
Any of the 3 meant the other person already stopped trying – trying to explain, trying to patch things up, trying to understand.
It meant “Ok. Ikaw naman ang magaling e sige na ayoko nang magsalita ayoko nang pahabain ‘to wala ka naman atang balak makinig. Ikaw bahala.”
(Or something to that effect.)
I’ve learned my lesson well enough to know that listening means giving the other person your full attention. If you can’t pay attention, don’t offer to listen at all. You’re not the only person in the world to talk to.
But if it makes you feel special that someone chose you over the rest of the world, don’t you think it’s just right to make that person’s decision count?
They say whatever is worth doing is worth doing well, and that includes listening, so listen well.