Word Vomit VI

I’m still alive at 11:22 PM, thanks to a quick (and very random) McCafe Iced Latte run with the ‘rents after they picked me up from New Life tonight. It’s a happy, happy day: blessings, a yummy Chinese dinner with my favorite workmates, and of course, Revealed Unlimited.

The Lord’s word for me today is just a reiteration of my life verse, Romans 8:18. I’m having the roughest two weeks of my life since I began teaching, and while I’m not one to really dwell so much with problems, I admit I’ve been struggling. It’s not helping either that I had imagined myself to be a memorable teacher to these students. I vowed not to shy away from nor lose my idealism, but there’s just something about the past two weeks that’s making it hard for me to keep believing.

But tonight, wow. Just when I was starting to ask all these life questions, He answers ever so quickly, ever so satisfactorily. Tonight I am once again assured that He never said life’s gonna be easy, but He did say I’ll never have to go through it on my own. I will always have Him, plus a lot of wonderful people who never fails to make me feel loved. Not only am I not alone, but I’m also already victorious. Nothing can change that–no sickness,  struggle, or doubt.

Ultimately, it is my response to these struggles that matter. It is my hope that my responses would do nothing but bring forth praise to the Lover of my life.

The enemy is always on his toes, ready to deceive me to think otherwise. Like tonight, I saw something that could’ve possibly brought my spirits down. It’s not that something per se that affects me so much, but the implications of the recent happenings in my life in relation to it. Only a few people know about it (actually, it’s possible only one person knows about it haha), and that’s exactly the problem. You dig?

Anyway, I won’t go into specifics lest I bore you with my personal life, but as I finish this entry thirty-minutes after I began writing it, I just realized that the Lord’s teaching me another level of dependence on Him.

I won’t take your struggles away just like that, because I want you to see the bigger picture. It’s not clear now, but it will be better. Trust that it will be better.

These are the kind of days when I rely on Marcel’s hope to keep me believing despite.

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