I know I shouldn’t be surprised that God is using me in ways my mind has never imagined or conceived before, but with a God like Him, how can I not be amazed?
- When I first seriously asked–in prayer–any sign that can convince me that I’m heading to the right path after graduation, He “out-signed” me. He gave me not just one, but two signs. And His word for me back in second year high school is still so clear in my head as of today: revive the passion of youth for Christ through media. Revive the passion of youth for Christ through media.
- I tweeted this after my first official teaching day:
- In relation to the previous bullet, only few people know the struggles I’ve been through thus far in relation to work. Sure, I tweet about it as if it’s the most exciting job in the world (and as of the moment it really is, for me), but there have been struggles as well. Like, days when I’d pass out as early as 8:30 in the evening because I’m still adjusting to the workload. Or the little things that I worry about, like not having any experience at all in teaching (except my NSTP days, I guess, which I don’t think can be considered experience, really), or disappointing people who trusts in me so much and have high expectations of me. There have been hard days thus far, and I’m sure it will only get harder (it’s only the beginning, after all). But let me tell you something: none of the above can convince me to quit. Not now, not until God Himself leads me to the end of this season.
- He makes all things work together for my good. And without any shadow of doubt, I know that I am positioned where I am most needed.
- This is something I’ve always wanted to talk about here but never had the time to do so. But hey, tomorrow’s a holiday, and I have all night to catch up on my dramas and write, so why not give Him the glory due Him through my blog?
- Have you ever felt like you’re too useless/worthless to be used by God? I have felt like that countless of times for the past months. I measured my worth in the eyes of God by how often I actually open my Bible. I found myself envying people who professed their strong Christian walks through their Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr accounts. I felt ashamed and naked. I felt so little and insignificant. And what’s worse, I belittled God’s capability to use me because I actually thought it is about me.
- But it’s not. It is, and has always been, about God. So no matter how ‘bad’ I see myself, He still moves in and through me. He doesn’t have to wait for me. When He says now or go, all He ever asks of me is to obey. Because, as our class valedictorian beautifully puts it:
It is indeed possible to find a well of inspiration that never runs dry because you fall down and realize that you are not the well that gives, but the bucket that goes down seeking the water that fills you. And God is the ultimate well that gives.
- That even if I set Him aside, He still waits for me. He moves through me as I lead worship, or as I exhort. He moves through me during the very few times I actually open my Bible. Because it will never be about me. It will always be about Him.
He has finally answered one of the desires of my heart.
- For years, I have been too attached to people, so much so that the little unintended hurtful things they do greatly affect me. God knows how much I cried for and because of people. I often asked Him in prayer to change me into someone who can enjoy the company of people without needing them.
- My prayer has already been answered 🙂