Dearest Jesus,

I was having a hard time coming up with a Christmas blog because I don’t know what to say. Of course, I’m grateful, and You know that more than anyone else! I woke up to hugs from my mom, my dad and my brother. I ate countless times today, from different tables of different households. I’m healthy, happy and alive. What’s not to be grateful about?

But the blessings I have now don’t make up for a superb blog entry about Christmas. Am I dissatisfied? No! Far from it! I’m more than satisfied with my life right now. But I have one problem:

I might have made You an ordinary recipient of my thanksgiving that  I might have forgotten who You really are, what You have done for me, and what the proper response of someone as unworthy as me to a wonderful Savior that is You.

I know Christmas should never be a one-time-big-time day, when everyone praises You and then forgets You for the rest of the year. But I’m happy nonetheless that today, at this very moment, someone somewhere is wishing another with Merry Christmas and the greeting has Your Name in it. Just the thought of one single day in which Your Name is uttered countless times sends shivers down my spine!

What more, if all these people who say Your Name would come to know You! That’s what my heart longs for. That’s what I want to do: to proclaim Your name to the ends of the earth! Today I realized how blessed I am because of You, and I once again appreciate the importance of Your birth, death and resurrection. But appreciation is not enough, never enough. To realize my blessings is futility if without an action point, just as faith is dead without works.

I want to serve the Baby on the manger, the Missionary who loved sinners like me, the Son of God hanged at the cross, and the Savior who overcame death and promised to come back again. That’s You, Jesus. This relationship with You is so important to me, because it’s all I got in times of surrender. But disturb me if I have already made You my homeboy. You always deserve more than the best that I can give.

I cannot out-give You but I will give You my all nonetheless. After all, You deserve nothing but the best of and from me. Jesus, I hope as You see me walking and breathing, You can see Yourself in me. Because what else is my existence for if not to radiate You?

If the case is that I don’t look like You at all wherever I am as a daughter, a sister, a friend or a follower of You, then disturb me. I know nothing I can do will be worthy enough of Your sacrifice, but I just want to make You smile. How can I put a smile on Your face? I know what delights You and Our Father is following His will, right?

So as this year’s Christmas comes to an end (it’s 12:23 AM of December 26 as I type this), I would like to remember what You’ve done, start there, and live a life that shouts nothing but Your Name. I will fail–though I hope I really don’t–but I know Your love will see me through, and it will inspire me to just stand up from wherever I fall down and function as one of the many parts of the Bride of Christ.

‘Til we meet You, Our Groom, we will not tarry. We will wait actively and in pursuit of You, and I hope next Christmas, more people would say Merry Christmas knowing who You are and what You have done.

Because when I dedicated my life for You, You’ve shown me time and again that nothing that I’ve done in Your Name and for the sake of the Kingdom has ever been in vain.

Thank You for coming to and staying in my life. I cannot imagine my life without You, and thank God I would never have to live without You ever again 🙂

Your Beloved,
Jee

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