Twenty @ 20

Sounds like a debut title to me, only, that day wasn’t as exciting as the title suggests.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining or anything. I was generally happy, I think. The day started past midnight, when greetings flooded my cellphone Ilka stayed up just so she could be the first to greet me. Sweet girl she is. đŸ™‚

At 4am, while I was peacefully sleeping, I saw the lights flicker through my half-opened eyes. My brother was reaching out for something on the bookshelf above my head. Something fell, I woke up, and he greeted me: “Happy Birthday!” He handed me this wrapped gift which weighed a lot, and when I excitedly opened it, it was a Bible! If you’re really close to me (like my pamangkin, Kate) you’d know that above all else my favorite birthday gift is a Bible!

I took that as an omen. I was looking forward to a very happy day; nothing fancy, just a quiet birthday but still a happy one.

So why was it that when I was already heading home after a long day in school, I felt like there’s something lacking? I didn’t feel that “It’s so good to be alive” feeling. I wasn’t floating in the air or anything. I was just…there. Walking. Heading home. Waiting ’til the last minute of the day pass me by. Waiting ’til the clock strikes 12 midnight and voila, not my special day anymore.

I don’t know what it means, starting my second decade on earth that way, but what I learned on my very birthday was to never expect and to always be content with the little things. Be happy with what you have and treasure them. Don’t go looking for people or things that are not there. There is so much to be happy about, to smile about, and to thank God for. Don’t let anything–anyone–tie you down.

If I could celebrate my 20th birthday again, I won’t celebrate it the way I did last Wednesday. But, oh well, no regrets. Let’s just move forward, shall we. July 2011 might not have worked out the way I would’ve wanted it to, but there’s still July 2012. 2013. 2014. 2015.

I’m still breathing. I’m still living. And I won’t let the years pass me by.

Kaya ‘to.

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