is a common phrase I’ve been hearing all around church since last year. It’s also the phrase I’ve never taken into heart until now.
Honestly, I’ve been very skeptical about this overemphasis on grace. I know I’m God’s Beloved, that His grace is already freely given, that I’ve long been forgiven before I even asked for it, and that He loves me relentlessly. I know that my God is that great. But with my skepticism I’ve come to ask: is understanding this grace all there is to it? Shouldn’t we do something with the gift that has been freely given to us? Can we stop talking about grace now and start living it to the fullest?
Oh, what hypocrisy these words that are coming from my mouth are. I was questioning the system while here I am, sobbing and hurting and not letting God take the steering wheel. I’ve been singing “Give me grace to see beyond this moment here” but I don’t even understand a thing about grace.
Grace is not mine to earn but for God to give. It’s already in front of me–I just have to grab it, make it mine, embrace it and let it be the anthem of my life: That I am accepted in the Beloved. No words are truer than the fact that no matter how much I stumble or fall, no matter how many times I turn my back and leave Him, or no matter how stubborn and fleshly I’ve become for the past months, He already accepted me. Nothing that I’ve done can undo that very fact.
What relief. :’)
Today’s the eve of my birthday. I’m happy it’s a very light week school-wise, so after class I might spend some me time somewhere (I’m thinking UP). I’ll be dating with my Lover, and I’ll finally lay it all down at His feet. Today will be the day I’ll finally place Him as a seal in my heart. I’ll make Him my everything, and with that He will be more than enough.
I had a movie-dinner date with my bestfriend Kimiko last night. It’s been ages since we went out with only the two of us. It’s funny how our positions have somewhat reversed: before it was always me who was giving her “the talk,” but last night she drilled everything into my stubborn head because she’s been there, and twice at that.
I love her :”)
This post has too many subtopics, don’t you think? Haha! Also last night I bought a new planner and a checklist. I was having a hard time deciding what notebook should serve as what, and I’ve finally decided:
Clockwise: 1. Planner (old; for schedules and quotes to live by) 2. Devotion notebook 3. Sunday sermon notebook 4. Checklist 5. Moleskine blog notebook (to capture the fleeting random realizations and to write them down in this blog)
There’s another notebook, given by my bestfriend Ate Rizza, and I think that’ll serve as my journal. There are things that I can’t write here because, believe it or not, I’m still a private person. It’s been a year since she gave me the notebook and I realized I still haven’t put it to good use. Now’s the perfect time. 🙂
I love notebooks, if it isn’t obvious yet, and I’m sort of collecting them in a very informal way. Hopefully in writing more (in real paper) I’ll spend less time in front of this laptop. I have to spend my free time wisely, yes? 🙂
LASTLY, I applied for the News section of The GUIDON this year and I got in! Praise God! I remember it was the first section I applied to the summer before junior year, but I didn’t get in. I got into the Inquiry section, though, when the sem started, and I received the news just days before my birthday (like this news too!). I love the fact that I receive this journalism-related news days before my birthday. When I became editor-in-chief of my high school publication, I also received the news days after my birthday. Yey here’s to a journalism-filled year then!