Mending unwanted memories

This day last week, I was walking home from a failure of an interview, with tears flowing down my cheeks and negative thoughts flooding my head. If not totally blank, then my head was filled with questions such as “Am I in the right place?” or “Is it really here where You want me to be?” The insecurities I had with myself, those which I buried not too long ago, had risen right out of their graves. It was really a very sad day for me. Because I was too occupied with such thoughts, I forgot to let God in. Thank God he reminded me of Him. The moment I turned to God, I immediately realized that He really is all I need. From Monday night ’til yesterday He has been reminding me of His grace. He has been putting in me an extraordinary excitement for the future, for the great things He has in store just for me.

Yesterday, most especially, during the Sunday’s Word by my uncle, He called my attention and whispered: It’s a matter of perspective, Child. Because of what Jesus has done on the cross, I am rich. I am victorious. I don’t fight for victory; I fight from the position of victory. No more striving, no more struggling; I am destined for excellence!

So while I was riding a jeepney on my way to today’s interview, I uttered a short (but powerful and sincere) prayer. Lord, I prayed, I am already victorious. So please, help me stand this ground of victory. Help me so that I can show that victory with my words and my actions. More importantly, be glorified with this interview. If this is what you want for me, then let Your will be done.

Today, I walked on the same path I walked on last week, this time with a smile on my face. No, I’m not accepted yet. I will still be cringing in excitement and anxiety ’til Wednesday comes. But ’til then, I have this peace in my heart. Accepted or not, I am so glad this interview happened.

(Oh, and I think I just found my second favorite journ person after Ma’am Chay ;P)

God of my days, thank You for this one. Thank You for making me realize that I have worth because of what You have done on the cross. I can’t get rid of this smile on my face. As I still wait for Your plan to unfold before my eyes, may Your will be done for my life. I put my trust in You, my faithful Father. 🙂

P.S: When asked for any last words before the interview ended,  I said I hope to have fun. And I really do. 🙂

P.P.S: Screw Wednesday–this afternoon I got a text that I got in. I GOT IN! God is so good all of my life, in every season! My heart is just overflowing with joy right now! Thank You. I won’t let You down. :’)  

P.P.P.S: Now I’m just waiting for one more call/e-mail/text. If that one thing doesn’t happen, I’m all set then 🙂

(Today I was interviewed for an internship at Newsbreak and I got in :> )

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