It’s funny how everything can change in a wink of an eye, or in a span of a year. Things change, people change, and pointing fingers is what everyone is good at. Is this fate? Is this really bound to happen? Is there only one person to blame? Is this for the better? Too many questions; too many answers.
My selfish (and emo) self would say that where I am now is what I would have wanted from the very start. But see, the problem there is that, well, that’s me being selfish. There are the others who want a better ending. I’m being selfish, but frankly, it’s just me being content. Because I do not want to invest time and effort in things that are shallow, things that are temporary. Especially things that are unnecessary.
What I will say next, though, would entail that I oppose myself: I want to love unconditionally. This is one character of Christ that I am really smitten about. How can He love me so much? How can He love all of us sinners so much that He would die for you and me? What is it about me that He should love me unconditionally?
To love is to give. But to learn how to love, you should also take love. It’s the irony of love: you can never claim that you love someone unless you are overflowing with love yourself–for how would you know that it is love if you have not experienced it yourself? You have to receive love, or better, love yourself first.
It is painstakingly hard to love people who have hurt you or the people around you, but we are commanded to love. I am commanded to love. And so, love I will. No matter how my human self is strongly opposing to such a foolish idea. But I am a fool alright, and the world thinks so too.
This is because my high school days are so yesterday, and in my life there should be no more room for childishness.