Ningas Kugon Yet Again

You know how back in elementary (or high school even), knowing that you’ll get to use new notebooks, books–new school supplies!–every first few weeks gives you that certain high? It gives you a special kind of adrenaline, to be a bit mas masipag than you were before.

In my case, a new set of supplies from Office Warehouse (shameless plugging haha) gave me an urge to take down my notes better, to listen to class more. Last semester, I used to just type down the teacher’s lectures in my laptop and afterwards, play endless games of solitaire in class. I know it was a very bad study habit, and suffice to say, I got what I deserve during the release of the grades.

Last week I lost a very special pen that I cannot afford to lose, only to find it again. Losing it was like an omen of sorts. It was an “uh-oh, simula na ulit ng katamaran” feeling. Good thing I still found it, and despite losing it for days, I still took down good notes.

But today, today I felt really lazy, the laziest I can get for these past few weeks. Maybe it’s an aftermath of the adrenaline-filled activity by Ma’am Chay. Maybe it’s what Topher said it is, a matter of getting used to the new study habit I’m aiming for. You see, for the past two years, I’ve been studying at school because it suits me best.  Now that we’ve moved to a better space, I don’t want to spend too much idle time floating around school. I want to be productive. I want to be excellent.

I’m serious.

And so when I decided I won’t take that Matanglawin interview anymore, and I won’t worry myself with the Beyond Loyola requirements,  it was the lowest points for me today. I just felt really, really useless. Really, really lazy.

But, I don’t know. I’m very sure a lot are still in store for me, and it doesn’t even have to be school-related. There is a challenge to be relevant, a challenge to step out of the comfort zone. A challenge to share boldly the Gospel of Christ.

Why am I not responding to the challenge as eagerly as I should?

I think I just need to clear my head a little. Get some proper sleep and get back that energy I had when I first held the new school supplies from Office Warehouse.

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