I’ve been into school dramas lately, and my latest crack is – suprise, surprise – a Taiwanese drama! The title is In a Good Way and it was a huge leap for me to start watching it, since I’m not familiar with the actors.
I’m now 6 episodes in and I love love love it. I miss the university life. Not the studying part (hehe) but everything in between: first friends, first love, the freedom I never had in high school, and the impromptu adventures. It was a world I would revisit again in a heartbeat, if I could.
Anyway, there’s a point to all these ramblings: I started jogging again, and while going around UP, some thoughts came to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my blockmates, but I wish I mustered enough courage to know more people. I wish I spent more time discovering talents I never knew I had, instead of playing it safe. I wish I fell in love with the whole idea of college. I wish I realized earlier on it’s not going to last forever.
Someone should write about how college is not the place to discover who you should be, but a place to know more of who you really are.
Oh, wait. That’s what In A Good Way is doing. *goes back to watching*
Finally visited the GK Enchanted Farm yesterday for a feature on community libraries being put up by young Filipino leaders from the Global Shapers Community (story here).
There is still so much good out there, especially in the Philippines, and everyone – at least a lot of young people I know – is trying their best to make a difference.
Sometimes I beat myself up for lazying around and wasting my hours away when I realize there is still so much I can do right here, right now, where the Lord has placed me in this season of my life.
I remember a phrase I wrote years back: You need not know my name. That hasn’t changed ’til now. You still don’t need to know my name, but read the stories, listen to the written voices, and do something. Anything.
I’m clinging to the Cross, fixing my eyes on Jesus. There’s no other way to live, no other way to stay afloat amid life’s currents. There’s no middle ground either: I can only be for Jesus or against Him. I was the forgetful when it should be impossible to forget the One you love. I only loved Him by lip service, but not anymore. I only looked to Him in troubled times, but not anymore. He is the air I breathe, the only grace sufficient for me, and the only joy that satisfies. I will not let go. Not anymore.
God has done it again.
I anticipated Passion Manila 2014 since last year, and God did not – will never – disappoint. After retelling the parable of the prodigal son – exactly how Bobby Guev would explain it – God spoke again to me through Pastor Louie Giglio: Do not harden your heart, daughter. Come, enter into My joy.
For months I have lost sight of the only Joy that satisfies, and last night, He came running to meet me. It was absolutely amazing.
“I don’t want to live outside Your ways, I don’t want to miss Your heart for me – You’re the way!”
I’ve learned not to hold on too tight, to build bridges I can burn myself. Still, saying goodbye is never easy – not to a friend you still want to know better.
I wonder when I’d finally get used to farewells, or to the fleetingness of everything that comes with growing up. Did I spend my teenage years well? And today, are the nights out, the cups of coffee, and the long conversations punctuated with tears and laughter and silence still worth putting my heart into?
If they aren’t, well, it’s too late. I’ve started believing in people again, you see.