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100×100, Day 3: Captivated

God has done it again.

I anticipated Passion Manila 2014 since last year, and God did not – will never – disappoint. After retelling the parable of the prodigal son – exactly how Bobby Guev would explain it – God spoke again to me through Pastor Louie Giglio: Do not harden your heart, daughter. Come, enter into My joy.

For months I have lost sight of the only Joy that satisfies, and last night, He came running to meet me. It was absolutely amazing.

“I don’t want to live outside Your ways, I don’t want to miss Your heart for me – You’re the way!”

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100×100, Day 2: Goodbyes

I’ve learned not to hold on too tight, to build bridges I can burn myself. Still, saying goodbye is never easy – not to a friend you still want to know better.

I wonder when I’d finally get used to farewells, or to the fleetingness of everything that comes with growing up. Did I spend my teenage years well? And today, are the nights out, the cups of coffee, and the long conversations punctuated with tears and laughter and silence still worth putting my heart into?

If they aren’t, well, it’s too late. I’ve started believing in people again, you see.

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100 words, 100 days: Day 1

I love writing. I really do. But when it’s your day job like it is mine, sometimes you’d rather spend your down time and your days off doing something else.

Still, I love writing. A lot of people say that, I know, and I don’t claim to love it more than anyone else, especially when I have neglected the first thing that got me into writing: blogging.

So here’s an attempt to blog again. I miss that urge to recklessly talk about my day even if there is nothing momentous about it. Nay, I miss making my life seem magical. 

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In which I remember a great night

It’s 4 am and I’m writing even if I have to be up later at 7, but I want to write this down anyway before I forget what a great night I had on Saturday, February 8.

Tonight, I was in my happy place again (Ateneo) with people I care about (Kai + Rapplers). That would’ve been enough to make me happy, but there’s something about an evening stroll in Ateneo, heartfelt laughter, hour-long conversations not punctuated by people checking their phones all the time, and a finished bottle of beer (finally!) that will make me remember every simple, ordinary thing that happened tonight.

I keep forgetting how valuable it is for me to really make time for people — to sit down with them and talk about life even when life is not always worth talking about.

While it’s convenient to hide behind my work and dramas and busy schedules, tonight reminded me that I am most happy and most satisfied when I spend time with people, old or new. True, I am still cynic about a lot of things, but I’m at least hopeful with this one: 2014 will be a year of better conversations.

I’m excited to see wherever that declaration leads me.

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After everything, thank you 2013

While relishing how time ticked slowly at Real, Quezon last December 30, I picked up my journal again. I already had an idea for my yearender; for a change, it would be about my top 5 rock bottom moments of 2013.

Listing down the first two was easy: The One With the Parent, and The One With the Careless Mistake. But at number 3, my mind went blank.

And then I realized:  2013 was not so bad after all. :)

The past year was, for the most part, the year I could no longer shrug off or hide under the rug the effects of a failed relationship. It broke me in more ways than one, turning me into a walking pessimist I never imagined I had in me.

But at the same time, I learned to choose joy every single day, and for days when I find it especially hard to believe in happiness, I got by with a lot of help from friends.

It was also a year of journalism miracles — the biggest of which, of course, is joining Rappler. Here, I was tried and tested beyond my limits and comfort zones; hopefully, I’m a whole lot stronger now.

Since I can’t complete my rock bottom list anyway, here are some defining moments of my 2013, listed by month:

JANUARY: Pavilion date + timer shots with the Aldabas, CRC Anniversary

Photo from the Aldabas

Photo from the Aldabas

Photo from the Aldabas

Photo by Tim Rivera

FEBRUARY: 3rd JS Prom

MARCH: Selle’s debutThe One With the ParentGoodbye, AGS

Photo from Lois Maglalang

APRIL: Funemployment, almost employment

MAY: Keeping it hipsterRappler :)

Photo by Kai Francisco

JUNE: Education beat, Culion trip

JULY: Seeing Lee Min Ho, The One With the Careless Mistake

Lee-Min-Ho

 

AUGUST: The first of many roadtrips with Topher and Jom

SEPTEMBER: Breaking point, trying harder

OCTOBER: First family treat, first standupper

NOVEMBER: Date with BFCovering Haiyan from Manila

DECEMBER: #December2014, my first Rappler teambuilding + Christmas party, “Paskuhan” with Kate and BF, IJ group reunites, Quezon trip with the family

IMG_3244

Photo by Kai Francisco

Photo by Kai Francisco

Photo from Kai Francisco

 

In general, I only have 3 hopes for 2014:

1. A year of going back and drawing close to my First Love
2. A year of health and fitness
3. A year of excellence and doing more

And because 2013 spared me, it is with a grateful heart that I bid it goodbye :)

Nagmamaganda,
Jee

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